Forty Things I’ve Learned After 40 Years of Marriage

My wife and I married young…she was 18 and I was 19. We didn’t know much about relationships or life for that matter. We only knew that we “loved” each other and wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. We celebrated 40 years together last August and I began thinking the other day that 40 years is a pretty long time…four decades and only ten years shy of a half century. I’ve been married two times as long as I had lived when we got married! And during that time together I’ve learned a few things that I didn’t know at 19 years of age. So here’s a list of the “Forty Things I’ve Learned After 40 Years of Marriage.” Hopefully you can benefit from some them. (And by the way, there are many more. I’ll add them as the years together grow.) These are in no particular order!

1. Let’s get this one out of the way first…I’m not always right
2. Seek to understand before I’m understood
3. My wife has my best interest at heart
4. I don’t have to point it out every time my wife makes a mistake…I make them too
5. A kind and soft answer will turn away wrath…that’s even Biblical
6. I won’t have a nervous breakdown if my wife has control of the TV remote
7. Express thankfulness and gratitude for the little things like having the coffee ready to start in the morning
8. Never criticize my wife in public
9. Never criticize my wife in private to another woman
10. I only have one best friend of the opposite sex and that’s my wife
11. I don’t have to drive everywhere we go…she’s a capable driver too
12. She likes to help me with my “man projects” around the house…I just have to ask her
13. There are a lot of faults that can just be “overlooked”…they aren’t life and death issues
14. She likes it when I clean the kitchen
15. Mute the TV when she has something to say to me so I can give her my full attention
16. It’s okay to tell my wife I love her more than once a day
17. My wife’s family is just as important as my family

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18. It only hurts for a moment to admit I was wrong
19. I don’t have to spend a lot of money on gifts…It matters most that I remember in thoughtful ways special occasions
20. A surprise gift or note for no special reason is appreciated
21. My wife has goals too…I need to support her and her goals so she can achieve them
22. I don’t have to fix everything…just take a moment and listen without offering advice
23. Forgiveness is more healthy than holding on to the past
24. Once forgiveness has been given…drop it…never to be mentioned again
25. My wife is better at somethings than I am
26. I am better at somethings than my wife
27. Standing watching my wife get ready for us to go somewhere doesn’t make her get ready any faster…in fact I think it slows the process down a bit
28. Her definition of “clean” and my definition of “clean” are clearly different
29. There are some items of clothing that “DO NOT” go in the dryer
30. Me being the spiritual leader in the home is important to her
31. Sincere compliments are always appreciated
32. You can never go wrong living by the “Golden Rule”
33. I’m a better person because of her
34. Laughing together is refreshing
35. Praying together draws us closer
36. My wife trusts me…I never want to violate or abuse that
37. It’s not good for man to be alone
38. It’s necessary to unclog the bathroom sink of hair every few months…that’s just the way it is
39. Trust and respect for each other will overcome the times when you don’t “feel” love for one another
40. It is possible to love someone more after 40 years than the day you were married

These are some of the things I’ve learned. What about you? What would you add to the list? Share it in the comments.