UPDATE: Forty-five Things I’ve Learned After 45 Years of Marriage

My wife and I married young…she was 18 and I was 19. We didn’t know much about relationships or life for that matter. We only knew that we “loved” each other and wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. I wrote my original post “Forty Things I’ve Learned After 40 Years of Marriage” back in 2017. Well we made it another five years together so today (August 5, 2022) we celebrate 45 years together. During the past 45 years together I’ve learned a few things that I didn’t know at 19 years of age. So here’s the UPDATED list of the “Forty-five Things I’ve Learned After 45 Years of Marriage.” Hopefully you can benefit from some them. (And by the way, there are many more. I’ll add them as the years together grow.) These are in no particular order!

  1. Let’s get this one out of the way first…I’m not always right
  2. Seek to understand before I’m understood
  3. My wife has my best interest at heart
  4. I don’t have to point it out every time my wife makes a mistake…I make them too
  5. A kind and soft answer will turn away wrath…that’s even Biblical
  6. I won’t have a nervous breakdown if my wife has control of the TV remote
  7. Express thankfulness and gratitude for the little things like having the coffee ready to start in the morning
  8. Never criticize my wife in public
  9. Never criticize my wife in private to another woman
  10. I only have one best friend of the opposite sex and that’s my wife
  11. I don’t have to drive everywhere we go…she’s a capable driver too
  12. She likes to help me with my “man projects” around the house…I just have to ask her
  13. There are a lot of faults that can just be “overlooked”…they aren’t life and death issues
  14. She likes it when I clean the kitchen
  15. Mute the TV when she has something to say to me so I can give her my full attention
  16. It’s okay to tell my wife I love her more than once a day
  17. My wife’s family is just as important as my family
  18. It only hurts for a moment to admit I was wrong
  19. I don’t have to spend a lot of money on gifts…It matters most that I remember in thoughtful ways special occasions
  20. A surprise gift or note for no special reason is appreciated
  21. My wife has goals too…I need to support her and her goals so she can achieve them
  22. I don’t have to fix everything…just take a moment and listen without offering advice
  23. Forgiveness is more healthy than holding on to the past
  24. Once forgiveness has been given…drop it…never to be mentioned again
  25. My wife is better at somethings than I am
  26. I am better at somethings than my wife
  27. Standing watching my wife get ready for us to go somewhere doesn’t make her get ready any faster…in fact I think it slows the process down a bit
  28. Her definition of “clean” and my definition of “clean” are clearly different
  29. There are some items of clothing that “DO NOT” go in the dryer
  30. Me being the spiritual leader in the home is important to her
  31. Sincere compliments are always appreciated
  32. You can never go wrong living by the “Golden Rule”
  33. I’m a better person because of her
  34. Laughing together is refreshing
  35. Praying together draws us closer
  36. My wife trusts me…I never want to violate or abuse that
  37. It’s not good for man to be alone
  38. It’s necessary to unclog the bathroom sink of hair every few months…that’s just the way it is
  39. Trust and respect for each other will overcome the times when you don’t “feel” love for one another
  40. It is possible to love someone more after 40 years than the day you were married.
  41. UPDATED: Be sensitive to my wife’s “day.” Be aware of when I need to step up and make dinner or take her out because it’s been a tough day for her
  42. It’s important to her, and me, that I “keep her car” in good running condition. She will always have the “best” car in the family
  43. It makes her happy, when I take good care of my health
  44. We each have “our side of the bed” even when we are on vacation
  45. When we go on vacation, she always needs a “bigger” suitcase than I do! Just accept it and make room for it!

These are some of the things I’ve learned. What about you? What would you add to the list? Share it in the comments.

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  1. These “45 Things…” are valuable, not only to Keith and Anita, but to everyone who values their own marriage relationship. Most of us who have had a good, long, marriage can understand and agree with them.

  2. Yes they are! I often share the link with newly married couples. Thank you for your comment.

  3. inspiring for the young couples. i am so excited for marriage and i know i have the best role models to get wisdom from. happy anniversary.

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